On this Valentines day, I have a message for the wee guys at St John the Baptist school in Uddingston, Scotland.

If you are thinking of giving Holly MacBean a valentines card today then know this.

I have a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over 5 years as a father to a beautiful daughter and plenty as a boy myself.

Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.

If you let my daughter go about her day pleased with the card I sent her, that’ll be the end of it.

I will not look for you, I will not pursue you.

But if you don’t, I WILL look for you and I WILL find you.

That aside, happy valentines day everyone 🙂